whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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