I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
