Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize