i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.