fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party