don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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