Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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