: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
