Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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