If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Shame - the story of my life.
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