you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize