My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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