I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
