They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
