So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
