Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize