Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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