Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
