Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
