The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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