We're facebook friends in real life
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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