Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have tasted many bathrooms
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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