their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
