dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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