you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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