Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
