Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?

(1-509): View more from Washington

talent.

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(858): View more from California

I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.

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(708): View more from Illinois

susan atkins died, charles manson's lady

(312): View more from Illinois

dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.

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(207): View more from Maine

I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does

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(917): View more from New York City

She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers

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(606): View more from Kentucky

If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy

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