i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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