After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize