Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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