The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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