No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
