I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I love having hate sex.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
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