My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
