im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
