I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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