You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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