Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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