D3 body, D1 cock
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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