make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
