Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
