Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
