Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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