You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
