i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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