I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
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All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
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my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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