I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize