I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
