Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize