she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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