let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
