Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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