I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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