I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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