i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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