you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
