This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
