I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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