jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
