I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
