I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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