you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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