Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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