When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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