hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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